Journaling is my escape from studying teehee* shhh don't tell on me! So I've realized I dont blog much anymore because I'm intimidated by the amazing writers out there who would say I can't write and lets not forget the criticism that occurs with spilling your heart to the public world. I mean this is the internet and I do have some crazy ass stalkers and haters I have accumulated through my years of bending over cars in bootay shorts. I mean I have come a long way and learned to have forgive my past mistakes and offenders who have hurt me, but there is a stigma when it comes to blogging because people write nasty comments and judge or assume they "know" you because theyve read a few faqs on a website or random rantings from a blog...little do they know I am far more than what meets the eye/website lol*
I have been working out 2 hours a day at krave or at the gym and I went swimming and showered and went out with wet hair in the cold, so I assumed that was how I got sick this week. As things progressed, I thought i had swine flu...its scared me so. The symptoms were similar but missing the vomiting, headache, fatigue stuff. My friend's gf has swine flu, and my other two friends also had it so it wouldn't have been too far fetched that I somehow contracted the virus, especially after treating my friend with the gf who has swine flu like a leper...or so he says Its Kharma biting my in the ass for being mean to him at Bleu (our favorite local hangout). He was right, I avoided him like the plague, because I was scared to get it! Who knows if his gf's germs got on him and was gonna spread it to the rest of the crew? Oh and to top it off, due to my paranoia, he thought it would be amusing to cough in my water to get me sick...well a day later I WAS!! ahhh Damn you weanus!
Well 3 days later, I must say I am feeling 95% better. My favorite infectious disease specialist, Dr. Jeng suggested I just take zinc and viatmins and my body responded quickly, so whatever virus it was, swine flu it was not! Thank you Lord! So through the conversations, we somehow got to talking about going to Hawaii. I LOVE Hawaii, it is one of my happiest spots to date, maybe because life was so carefree back then, the island was beautiful, the water was perfect, the sky and mountains were just heavenly.... it is simply my solace. How I wish to go back there...if I close my eyes I can remember it so clearly. Hopefully it works out as I am trying to see if friend will let us use the timeshare and if the other friends can join! YAY!
I have quite a crazy travel schedule ahead including Canada mission trip, Philippines press trip, and Monaco pilot for a travel show this year. I usually go to 2-3 countries a year but I guess it will be 4 including Japan this past march. So excited, although mostly work related but still good to get away nonetheless.
As for school, it sucks balls and I cannot wait to get it over with. Case study after case study, finance is killing me, and I just dont want to deal with strategic analysis reports anymore, it hurts my heart thinking about it...and yes that is what im supposed to be working on right now instead of "blogging"
Oh and well God's been opening up the doors for my new album. The album I spent $10,000 sucks because its not my style and I am not proud of it. I am not releasing it and I feel like God put it on my heart to do a revamp album that is more my style about Love, Redemption, Forgiveness, and Living. He's opened quite a few doors in the music industry with new producers and studios to work with, so its pretty exciting. I've been writing a lot and trying to see what direction to go, but its definitely going to empower women, be full of love ballads, R&B hip hop feel, and collaboration with a lot of artists and friends who I have grown to respect and love. It's funny though when you try to do good things, there is always someone out there who wants to sabotage it, but ultimately it doesn't matter, because if God plans it it will come to fruition regardless the obstacles that stand in the way ie...satan's vessels aka haters.
Acting work is dead, I have come to realization that I am the "callback" girl. I have literally gotten callback after callback and not booking jack. Its so demoralizing and disheartening when you spend so much time and effort on memorizing lines, rehearsing, driving all over the place, paying for parking, and hours of your time waiting around. Its so frustrating! I have literally auditioned for over 15 popular tvshows/pilots/features and gotten 6 callbacks, not including the 3rd callback and booked zero. Yes I know this industry it "tough" and I shouldn't be discouraged because at least im getting callbacks but honestly its a waste of my damn time! Also I happen to be getting beat out by a pretty popular asian actress named Nicole Bilderback,
yeah some of you may know her from "Bring it On" and the hundred other projects she's worked on. The girl is 34 looks super young, but still in my category and of course she has a bigger fanbase but come on give the new girl a chance yeah?
Ok I need to stop venting, I'm revealing too much! This is supposed to me uber glamourous isn't it? Well its NOT ladies and gentlemen it sucks. But at least I have the opportunity to compete, I have supportive friends and family, and I have bigger goals that supercede what I'm chasing after in the short term. I will stay positive and trust that Lord has purpose for me according to his will. I trust. but sheesh it's so hard.
I spent the whole day driving to vegas, got a ticket for speeding at 80 on the I-15 (which of course speed limit is posted at 70) and everyone else is flying by usually at 90-100mph. I get pulled over for going 80mph! My friend says I should have drove faster!! While arguing with the redneck asshole, he proudly tells me " I am number one at the station for writing the most tickets! I usually write about 40 a day!" Umm...isn't there something wrong with that? Why pull me over when im following traffic and everyone is driving at least 80? There are plenty of drivers out there who are trying to break the law who are advertently disobeying all authority and speeding over 100mph! Catch those guys!! "Well darlin, I pull over everyone that is 10 mph over, thats just the law. Until they change it, I gotta write you a ticket."
Darlin? Hey officer Golden, FUCK YOU!
Stressful to say the least as I know I'm not the best driver, I've flown off cliffs and would prefer to be chauffeured by a handsome man for the rest of my life, but until I book that TV series I can't afford one. I've literaly spent over $1500 in traffic tickets the last year, two on the 405 when I lived in Irvine which required traffic school and now I am no longer eligible to attend. I have 2 pts on my record and I think I can get my license revoked if this keeps happening!
Since moving to LA (4 months ago) I've gotten one traffic ticket for going the opposite direction on a one way street (there wasnt a sign, I swear!), 3 parking tickets BH parking w/o permit, one blocking sidewalk (I was there for 5 minutes!) and last on Wilshire, parking at a metered parking spot where the tow away after 4pm and the damn sign was over 100 feet away. I came out at 4:05pm, the tow truck was there, the parking idiot woman was there writing over 15 cars a ticket! Seriously, I know the economy is bad but our city is just taking advantage of us! Unethical behavior, I should have studied law instead of business.
Ok ok enough venting, mostly it's my fault but I still blame the cops who have nothing better to do and the lowly paid city workers who want to ruin my life.
Although I had a very long day of driving (total 5 hours) including the 30 minutes or arguing with officer Goldfuck and in-n-out/gas break, I managed to write a new song, record it on my lover THE blackberry bold, and catch up with a few old friends. Its good to be home, although I only plan on being here for 24-48 hours I love playing with my cute baby nephew who is crazier than me, my sister who is flying high from her new business and spending time beating up my little brother (who had his friend pierce his lip and told me about his first "real" kiss that happened last night.) aww and of course singing opera with my mom, eating yummy food, helping my dad with his cook book and talking history and life. I am happy to be in my old bed, its so comfy...nostalgia.
I slept at 8pm because I was feeling sick and woke up at 4am. I ended up chatting with a photographer friend all night/morning and found out that he used to be a music producer with a recording studio! yup, lucky me! I've decided I may stay longer to record my newly written song. He has 3 songs he's composed and I think one might work!
Thank you to Lil Munster Mash to inviting me to LJ, I have yet to figure out how to use this. Also to the rest of my fellow lasians, don't fret I will see you soon and we will bleu it up when I get back Wednesday night. Sweet dreams.
- Current Location:Las Vegas Nevada
- Current Music:James Morrison "If you don't wanna love me"
I miss blogging. I used to blog all the time on Xanga and figured I needed private blogs, so I opened 3-4 accounts on xanga, blogger, livejournal etc.. with different user names venting about the idiots in my life but now I can't keep track on what the usernames or passwords are. I't's funny that my name is already taken, I figured I opened it myself but I tried about 10 emails and passwords and all are invalid, so therefore I must use my new nickname deemed by caffeine guy. He's famous amongst these parts, or so I hear. lol* Don't ask why he calls me this, I think it's because I am hungry like a wolf, and I like horses? hahaha who knows, ask him. He says Im a ravenous beast here to destroy mankind. I will do it, one man at a time...Muahahhaa j/k. I'm a harmless little Asian. No need to fear me, I only weigh 102 pounds on my good days. '
Well even against my will, I have found myself becoming average. Becoming "normal"
So because everyone is transferring to lovejournal, I've decided to join the damn band wagon! I tried making xanga cool again, but they just aren't getting it. My rebellious nature has subsided quite a bit since moving to LA. I don't know what they put in the water, but I'm feeling more and more like a caged eagle again...and another traumatic incident...
I have conformed to the damn blackberry trend even after fighting it for 3 years! I must join the rest of the average folk. I have failed as a strong Taurus bull and have once again fallen short, peer pressure. It's the devil. I do, however LOVE my new Blackberry Bold. It is my new best friend. It has video and picture taking where I compile blackmail material on everyone I know and I lock up all my secrets and indulge in BBM. (blackberry messenger) Caffineguy tells me that is the sole reason why people call it CRACKBERRY, because it's more addicting than Crack and Berries.
Amazing, he was right all along. I can't seem to pull myself from the flashing red light. It doesn't matter what I am doing or who I'm with. Doctors office giving blood? In depth conversation about life? Driving on the 405? Taking a shower? Anytime of day, blackberry in right hand. What the hell has happened? I am a slave to the blackberry. I cry at night thinking about my love for him. He makes me happy yet so unhappy because I'm afraid he will leave me, I'll lose him, drop him, or break him. It's difficult when you invest so much time into something, especially an inanimate object such as a phone. But it's not only a phone, it's my alarm, my calendar, my to do list, my memories. It is my BLACKBERRY BOLD. Its sexy and I love him.
I ditched my audition today because it was in Garden Grove. I got ready and decided to check my email first, but of course I get caught up reading, writing, facebooking, reading the onion, cnn, and watching youtube. It's 1:30, will I make it? Wait a minute, lets call and find out. Ring ring "Hi, is Garden Grove in OC?" The lady says "Yes it is!" I say, "DAMN YOU!! I'm driving from LA, what time are you seeing people until?" She says, "3pm" well hell with traffic, I am not going to make it! So I tell her "fuck off" and now here I am, jobless and writing this blog.
So I didn't really cuss her out, but honestly what's the damn point. The economy has gone to shit and everyone is pulling out their investments, especially in entertainment. SAG strike, fuck. I have so much to complain about but Rwanda has more to be pissed off about yet relieved that the bastard is in jail. Hooray for the Saudi who threw his shoe at Bush, it's now worth $10 million dollars! Some crazy business man wants to buy it. It will be an antique, a historical artifact. The shoe thrown at the worlds dumbest president. The Iraqi journalist, Mr Muntadar al-Zaidi is still in jail. I find this to be quite amusing.